Death

Even when we act like it doesn't bother us, like we've seen it so many times that it doesn't matter anymore, death will never be easy and simple to process for health care workers.

But there are times when its even harder.
When its our patient.
When we're there when they code.
When we have to be the ones to tell the family.

My patient just coded and died. But what was even more difficult to swallow, was that she shouldve had a better shot. If she had had the proper access to the proper care, she wouldn't have been here, today, now dead. Why should she be the victim just because she was born in the wrong part of the world, or even the wrong part of the island? Why should she have to live without antibiotics because there aren't enough of them, when people a couple hundred miles away are spending thousands and thousands of dollars every year on cosmetic surgery?

What made it even harder for me, selfishly, was that when it was time to tell and comfort the family, I couldn't tell them in their language. And I didn't know how to comfort them and say "I'm sorry" in their culture.